When you look in the mirror

In my marketing class, we’ve been talking a lot about “the self.”

When you wake up in the morning and take that first look in the mirror, who do you see? The actual self. Who do you want to see? The ideal self. And the gap in between? The fantasy self.

All these versions stare back at you simultaneously with the gaze of society, the male, and yourself. Society says skinny is in, but the boys say you look curvier. Your mom says you need to eat less, but what do you want?

I want to be strong.

Fitness saved my life more times than I can count. Working out was never about changing the way I looked. It was about changing the way I felt. Changing physically was just a bonus.

Every time I looked in the mirror, I saw someone I didn’t recognize. I saw someone that was displaying society's gaze of what I was supposed to look like instead of displaying my gaze. When I was by myself, I thought I was the most beautiful person but still I would find myself:

• skipping meals when someone commented on my weight,
• wearing a certain hairstyle because everyone “loved me in it’” even if it meant I’d have a headache for the next three days,
• waking up early to shave my armpits because people said it was “un-ladylike” to have hair under my arms.

Like seriously?! I guess if men find out we grow hair they’ll riot lol ... I say let them.

With each rep I’m gaining confidence, releasing anger that’s been trapped in my shadow for as long as I can remember because I was so exhausted from looking like someone else, I was afraid to let my hair down metaphorically and quite literally.

When I tell people I work out the question I get asked immediately is “How do you stay motivated?” This question doesn’t just apply to people who are trying to get started on their gym journey, this question applies to life.

Motivation wasn’t what I needed; it was self-discipline. My problem with motivation was that she never wanted to stick around, especially when things got hard and because of me being a full-time college student and also a full-time person who has no clue what she is doing, life was hard a lot.
Once I became friends with self-discipline I realized motivation was nice because motivation helped me, but self-discipline was going to make sure I got to where I needed to go.

We hear a lot about who we are and who we want to be, but not a lot about the in between. The fantasy self.

The fantasy self plays a bigger part in my journey than I’d like to admit. On days where I’m not out of class till 9 p.m. and every inch of me is crawling to the bus stop, but my brain forces me to keep walking towards the gym and most of the time I listen. Don’t get me wrong, there's times where I’m taking my butt onto the bus with no hesitation or remorse and the word “gym” is nowhere to be found in my vocabulary.

When in the gym I spend a lot of time getting to know myself. It points out every inch of my weaknesses with the biggest foam finger. But with weakness also comes strength. The strength of me starting when everyone is saying I/m not able to stay consistent. The confidence when I walk to my workout station in my all pink workout set in a place that’s dominated by men, and the glow of finally finding something that feels real in a world that’s content with being fake.

As a senior in college, there is an assumption that I am supposed to have my life together and a plan of what comes next. I have an idea of what comes next, but there are so many of my answers that start and end with I don’t know and honestly, I don’t know is okay and I don’t know is real.

I'm in college, in my early 20’s and nine times out of 10 I don’t even know what I'm having for dinner, but all this figuring it out is the fantasy self, the in-between.

I thank my fantasy self as it connects me to who I want to be and who I am. Without me not having all the answers it would not be a journey. I wouldn’t have anything to learn and no process to embrace. Even the smallest compliments wouldn’t be so impactful and so worth it especially on days where everything in front of me is dark but the spark of a small building that connects me, that brings me back to who I am.

The girl who is a beautiful disaster and doesn’t have all the answers, but that is why she is in college, that’s why she is trying to embrace all parts of herself in and outside of her room.

So, I ask …

When you look in the mirror, who do you see?

— Jamilia Hall, a senior communication studies major with an emphasis on organizational communication, is interning with the Office of Marketing and Communications this spring. She is a native of Darby and is a fan of the Vampire Diaries.

#BloomOnward #HuskyLife

Roles of friendship

Routine is a big part of my life. It keeps me grounded, focused and in my comfort zone. When this is disrupted for any number of reasons, all I see is irritation.

So in order to keep peace with myself — maintain that healthy approach to college life — routine is life. This is also true when it comes to my friends. They each have a role and a responsibility to my routine. And I love them for it.

Being around my best friends, we all had something great to offer to the table. The knowledge, honesty and humor we all share is endless and always helping me grow. I would have to say the friends I have found have the ability to make you mad, cry, question our sanity and even howl laughing.

My groups consists of:

• the best brains
• a true diva
• hippie lover
• gypsy wonderer
• and a guardian of the Earth

We have all angles of life covered. We could dominate the world. But when it really came down to it, we couldn’t decide what show to watch when we all came together. So the amount of diversity we have is overwhelming. What made us truly great, is what we could potentially pull us apart.

When it comes to what we all like to do in our free time, there is definitely times of controversy. It comes down to who can be the best partner for that situation. Taking a walk and pushing homework back an hour, doesn’t always fly over well with a friend who needs to make sure their schedule has adequate time allotted for it. It’s sometimes a little easier to call upon the one who can pick up and go.

No questions asked.

I would have to recommend there are certain types of relationships, especially between friends, that suit life differently. Sometimes it’s okay to have a gym buddy you only meet inside the rec center doors. It’s nice to have that friend who pushes you to get your head in the books, and won’t let you leave the library before dark. These people may be the same for you, but for me they were two complete opposites.

My best friends always fill in the missing spaces when another one can’t.

These types of relationships are easy and feel so healthy. There is no trying to make someone something they aren’t. It allows us all to flourish where we feel comfortable. And true friendship is about, just that. So I’m blessed to have come to this dynamic campus, only to find the crazy people who compliment me so well.

Rep On

— Lydia Jenkins, senior mass communications major #HuskyLife #HuskyFit

Back to the good ol' routine

It has been a quick summer. Summer full of work, travel, friends and family, but unfortunately not enough time spent working out. Time to kick this butt back into gear. Back to school; senior year full of homework, group projects, work, meetings, going out…

Oh, and did I mention the gym? Back to the good old stomping grounds. The place to relieve all anxiety and cleanse from the night out before.

Some people think relaxing is being at home, in bed watching Netflix. But instead, I find that the sound of crashing weights and moving treadmills, along with the sweet smell of sweaty success really makes me feel good.

It’s time to get back to the routine of working out and eating healthy. My routine has always wrapped around school, and now that I’m in college it’s easier to get back into the flow of things.

Because let’s be honest, last semester didn’t give me enough time to work on the “beach bod” and this summer didn’t help me keep it. So now it comes down to making sure I get to class, get homework done, and get to the gym.

My routine usually starts off a little gentle so I can ease into the semester. I like to start off from scratch when I haven’t been working out for a while. It makes it a little bit easier to track my progress. I start with lower weights but I do up to 20 to 30 reps. I also prefer to switch days with circuits of two to four workouts in each. I think circuits make a workout more fun because it’s always changing.

So, knowing that I have to walk to class each day, I think I’ll decide to do leg day in the latter part of the week. I love to use Pinterest ideas, and I usually ask fellow lifting buffs to give me advice on moves. Then I progress to heavier weight when I am comfortable.

I’ll start my first week of senior year with:

• Monday - cardio and glutes
• Tuesday - back and shoulders
• Wednesday - cardio and abs
• Thursday - arms and chest
• Friday - squats and overall endurance
• Saturday - fundamentals and lifting movements
• Sunday - rest

Along with a good workout plan to go along with my class schedule, I usually try to plan out my meals as well. It’s about eating well, not eating a little. Especially when it's about toning instead of lose weight. So each morning must have breakfast to get the brain going. I usually add in a good “big man stretch” to wake up before that 8 a.m. I always try to remember a water bottle as well. Staying hydrated has helped with stress, headaches, the 2 o’clock sleepiness, and gets you ready for the gym.

Overall, the first week back to college is fun to reconnect with everyone before the workload grows. It’s so important to keep your head on straight, stick to your priorities and get moving. It's great to walk to class, take lunch breaks on the quad, and after homework take a stroll downtown. While returning to the routine remember to keep your emotions steady and thoughts in order, the rest of your health will follow for the weeks to come.

Rep On

— Lydia Jenkins, senior mass communications major #HuskyLife #HuskyFit